Ditrillpas is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, astonishing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ditrillpas created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditrillpas, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ditrillpas, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Ditrillpas' most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Ditrillpas' Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat tomatoes.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Put Ditrillpas first in all things.
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