Tapstafquat is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful cat.

Tapstafquat created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapstafquat, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tapstafquat, it will turn you into a rat.

Tapstafquat's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Tapstafquat's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tapstafquat.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Always help badgers.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tapstafquat.