Cissdonwon is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, selfish swan.

Cissdonwon created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cissdonwon, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cissdonwon, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Cissdonwon's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Cissdonwon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six great tits approach from the north.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never sit in the presence of turtles.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not chop down trees.
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