Tadvigcat is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, thoughtless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tadvigcat created the Milkyway six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadvigcat, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tadvigcat, she will turn you into a goat.

Tadvigcat's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Tadvigcat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Tadvigcat on top of all buildings.

2. Worship no other gods but Tadvigcat.

3. Always help porpoises.

4. Put Tadvigcat first in all things.

5. You must love Tadvigcat.