Vonfigmip is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, all-knowing aardvark.

Vonfigmip created the Virgo Supercluster nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonfigmip, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vonfigmip, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vonfigmip's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Vonfigmip's Holy Commandments

1. Vonfigmip must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Vonfigmip loves manatees, so they must be respected.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never laugh near tortoises.

5. Never look at nebulae.