Flowzagvog is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, charitable human.

Flowzagvog created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flowzagvog, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flowzagvog, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Flowzagvog's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Flowzagvog's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry seals.

2. Erect five iron sculptures of Flowzagvog on top of important buildings.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flowzagvog.

4. Doves are not to be trusted.

5. Do not speak about parsnips.