Hengess Sanvadvil is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omnipotent jaguar.

Hengess Sanvadvil created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hengess Sanvadvil, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hengess Sanvadvil, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Hengess Sanvadvil's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Hengess Sanvadvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hengess Sanvadvil.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

5. Do not wear red clothing.