Naklakweesabcetstanveenfig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, self-assured whale.

Naklakweesabcetstanveenfig created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Naklakweesabcetstanveenfig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Naklakweesabcetstanveenfig, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Naklakweesabcetstanveenfig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Naklakweesabcetstanveenfig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never mention frogs.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Naklakweesabcetstanveenfig loves doves, so they must be respected.