Veenflowlam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, amazing monkey.

Veenflowlam created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Veenflowlam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Veenflowlam, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Veenflowlam's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Veenflowlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Veenflowlam.

5. Erect three silver sculptures of Veenflowlam on top of important buildings.