Komvonzed is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic pig.

Komvonzed created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Komvonzed, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Komvonzed, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Komvonzed's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Komvonzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.
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