Faghabfem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, grumpy pig.

Faghabfem created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Faghabfem, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Faghabfem, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Faghabfem's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Faghabfem's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

4. Never wear orange hats.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.