Kadkapran Popmontonk is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, astonishing camel.

Kadkapran Popmontonk created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadkapran Popmontonk, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kadkapran Popmontonk, he will turn you into a goat.

Kadkapran Popmontonk's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Kadkapran Popmontonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

2. Always help otters in need.

3. Always wear gray.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Respect your elders.