Toflatfly is a god.
It takes the form of a heavy, benevolent yak.
Toflatfly created a top quark eight trillion years ago.
If you believe in Toflatfly, it will be happy.
If you do not believe in Toflatfly, it will attempt to scare you with floods.
Toflatfly's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.
Toflatfly's Holy Commandments1. Always take life seriously.
2. Never think ill of sick sheep.
3. Always pray in complete darkness.
4. Always wear purple.
5. Do not wear carbon on your body.