Dagbonkgup is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unsympathetic fish.

Dagbonkgup created snails three million years ago.

If you believe in Dagbonkgup, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dagbonkgup, it will cry a lot.

Dagbonkgup's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Dagbonkgup's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never mention hamsters.

3. Never talk about eagles.

4. Never skip near seals.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.