Lakcamtetticum is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, fast scorpion.

Lakcamtetticum created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lakcamtetticum, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lakcamtetticum, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lakcamtetticum's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Lakcamtetticum's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lakcamtetticum.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.