Vonkcedton Tafgesscib is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, boastful naga.

Vonkcedton Tafgesscib created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcedton Tafgesscib, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonkcedton Tafgesscib, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vonkcedton Tafgesscib's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vonkcedton Tafgesscib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.