Rutbellquag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, all-knowing crow.

Rutbellquag created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutbellquag, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rutbellquag, she will not invite you to parties.

Rutbellquag's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Rutbellquag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Rutbellquag on top of all buildings.

2. Do not speak about gooseberries.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never sing near porpoises.

5. Hide if four otters approach from the south.