Gadtinjab is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unjust newt.

Gadtinjab created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadtinjab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gadtinjab, it will have a low opinion of you.

Gadtinjab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gadtinjab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three dogs approach from the north.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Gadtinjab on top of all buildings.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Never run in the presence of doves.