Jatmetnulbep is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, effective monkey.

Jatmetnulbep created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jatmetnulbep, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jatmetnulbep, it will manifest in front of you.

Jatmetnulbep's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Jatmetnulbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not eat peas.

4. Jatmetnulbep must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.