Pomloopmit Jadhimmip is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, emotional lobster.

Pomloopmit Jadhimmip created the planet Mars six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomloopmit Jadhimmip, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pomloopmit Jadhimmip, he will boil you in a big pot.

Pomloopmit Jadhimmip's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Pomloopmit Jadhimmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

3. Feed all hungry swans.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.