Larnmabhab is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, two-faced jaguar.

Larnmabhab created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnmabhab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Larnmabhab, it will turn you into a dog.

Larnmabhab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Larnmabhab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three frogs approach from the east.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never wear pink ear rings.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Always help sharks.