Cipnellbut is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witless pigeon.

Cipnellbut created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipnellbut, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cipnellbut, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cipnellbut's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Cipnellbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cipnellbut.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Always pray immersed in water.