Lopsanton Ragfudcet is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, smart narwhal.

Lopsanton Ragfudcet created the Sombrero Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lopsanton Ragfudcet, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lopsanton Ragfudcet, he will turn you into a duck.

Lopsanton Ragfudcet's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Lopsanton Ragfudcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Put Lopsanton Ragfudcet first in all things.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not covet oxen.