Bimdibten is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, irritating newt.

Bimdibten created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimdibten, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bimdibten, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bimdibten's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bimdibten's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never hurt frogs.

4. You must never eat beans.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.