Mettaraf Xucknibrot Titlogbafranpas is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, blissful snail.

Mettaraf Xucknibrot Titlogbafranpas created vertebrates four years ago.

If you believe in Mettaraf Xucknibrot Titlogbafranpas, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mettaraf Xucknibrot Titlogbafranpas, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mettaraf Xucknibrot Titlogbafranpas' most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Mettaraf Xucknibrot Titlogbafranpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.