Vidlatgup Loophapstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, caring rhinoceros.

Vidlatgup Loophapstaf created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidlatgup Loophapstaf, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vidlatgup Loophapstaf, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vidlatgup Loophapstaf's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Vidlatgup Loophapstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Never hurt ants.

3. Always obey Vidlatgup Loophapstaf's priests.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

5. Never pour water over plants.