Kikwotweg is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unthinking raccoon.

Kikwotweg created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikwotweg, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Kikwotweg, he will turn you into a worm.

Kikwotweg's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Kikwotweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near porpoises.

2. Hide from cyan whales for they are unholy.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never write about black holes.