Paktipyambig is a god.

He takes the form of a large, conceited badger.

Paktipyambig created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Paktipyambig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Paktipyambig, he will make you grow a tail.

Paktipyambig's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Paktipyambig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Paktipyambig.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.