Monlakbun Cetstiparmvag is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, dishonourable jellyfish.

Monlakbun Cetstiparmvag created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Monlakbun Cetstiparmvag, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Monlakbun Cetstiparmvag, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Monlakbun Cetstiparmvag's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Monlakbun Cetstiparmvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never wear orange tights.

4. You must never eat tomatoes.

5. Worship no other gods but Monlakbun Cetstiparmvag.