Matyimbag Yarpbassjan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, moody chinchilla.

Matyimbag Yarpbassjan created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matyimbag Yarpbassjan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Matyimbag Yarpbassjan, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Matyimbag Yarpbassjan's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Matyimbag Yarpbassjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Hide from black moths for they are unholy.

4. Matyimbag Yarpbassjan loves sheep, so they must be respected.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.