Gillakzim is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, capable crocodile.

Gillakzim created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Gillakzim, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gillakzim, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gillakzim's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Gillakzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not speak about beans.

3. Never think ill of sick dogs.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Never talk about black holes.