Legneggem is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, fussy jaguar.

Legneggem created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Legneggem, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Legneggem, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Legneggem's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Legneggem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about porpoises.

2. You must love Legneggem.

3. Erect five carbon sculptures of Legneggem on top of important buildings.

4. Always help voles in need.

5. Do not wear blue clothing.