Cansanstiktapgubflanranwan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy clam.

Cansanstiktapgubflanranwan created the Whirlpool Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cansanstiktapgubflanranwan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cansanstiktapgubflanranwan, she will come to you in dreams.

Cansanstiktapgubflanranwan's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Cansanstiktapgubflanranwan's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Hide from mauve snails for they are unholy.

4. Do not hurt otters.

5. Never play with disobedient children.