Gubtentim is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, selfish hare.

Gubtentim created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Gubtentim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gubtentim, she will torture you forever.

Gubtentim's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Gubtentim's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Gubtentim.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Never think ill of sick moths.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always take life seriously.