Hadjiphak is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, vain bird.

Hadjiphak created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadjiphak, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hadjiphak, he will cry a lot.

Hadjiphak's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hadjiphak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never eat grapes.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never hurt goats.

5. Pray towards the west.