Kinvagstik is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, calm goose.

Kinvagstik created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinvagstik, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kinvagstik, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kinvagstik's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Kinvagstik's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kinvagstik.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Kinvagstik must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not take Kinvagstik's name in vain.

5. Retreat if nine turtles approach from the west.