Jigvogbeg Cinfadlat is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, sage mole.

Jigvogbeg Cinfadlat created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jigvogbeg Cinfadlat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jigvogbeg Cinfadlat, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Jigvogbeg Cinfadlat's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jigvogbeg Cinfadlat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about apples.

2. Always obey Jigvogbeg Cinfadlat's priests.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Retreat if six porpoises approach from the north.