Zakcebpad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witless naga.

Zakcebpad created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakcebpad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zakcebpad, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Zakcebpad's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Zakcebpad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zakcebpad.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Never write about nebulae.