Vilmiltam is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, loving gorilla.

Vilmiltam created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilmiltam, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vilmiltam, it will come to you in dreams.

Vilmiltam's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Vilmiltam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt porpoises.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.
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