Vollakbut is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unfair snail.

Vollakbut created the planet Mars two million years ago.

If you believe in Vollakbut, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vollakbut, it will be mildly annoyed.

Vollakbut's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Vollakbut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Always wear white.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.