Yatgedyak is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, selfish cobra.

Yatgedyak created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatgedyak, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yatgedyak, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yatgedyak's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Yatgedyak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve eagles for they are unholy.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

4. Put Yatgedyak first in all things.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.