Hamlistlamnadlakbodcimvig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish squirrel.

Hamlistlamnadlakbodcimvig created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamlistlamnadlakbodcimvig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hamlistlamnadlakbodcimvig, she will turn you into a snail.

Hamlistlamnadlakbodcimvig's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Hamlistlamnadlakbodcimvig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never eat peas.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.