Mipyokrill is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ruthless alligator.

Mipyokrill created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mipyokrill, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mipyokrill, he will turn you into a tree.

Mipyokrill's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Mipyokrill's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Hide from green goats for they are unholy.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Mipyokrill loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.