Sidbessfit Kipnutfen Shavnartgid is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, grumpy coyote.

Sidbessfit Kipnutfen Shavnartgid created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Sidbessfit Kipnutfen Shavnartgid, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sidbessfit Kipnutfen Shavnartgid, he will turn you into a goat.

Sidbessfit Kipnutfen Shavnartgid's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Sidbessfit Kipnutfen Shavnartgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Never feed beans to aardvarks while wearing indigo rings.