Quagcedlab Homgephig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, almighty slug.

Quagcedlab Homgephig created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagcedlab Homgephig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quagcedlab Homgephig, he will turn you into a mole.

Quagcedlab Homgephig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Quagcedlab Homgephig's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Quagcedlab Homgephig.

2. Never run in the presence of nematodes.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Quagcedlab Homgephig.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.