Arplimtarp is a god.
It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful swan.
Arplimtarp created the Whirlpool Galaxy two million years ago.
If you believe in Arplimtarp, it will be surprised.
If you do not believe in Arplimtarp, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.
Arplimtarp's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.
Arplimtarp's Holy Commandments1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.
2. Do not eat beans.
3. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.
4. Do not hurt seals.
5. Do not wear gold on your body.