Bafyarpstik Sitquatragbumxen is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, pitiless hyena.

Bafyarpstik Sitquatragbumxen created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Bafyarpstik Sitquatragbumxen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bafyarpstik Sitquatragbumxen, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bafyarpstik Sitquatragbumxen's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bafyarpstik Sitquatragbumxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lemons.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Run away if six monkeys approach from the west.