Queegjapjat Sawdubfid is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, awesome goblin.

Queegjapjat Sawdubfid created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Queegjapjat Sawdubfid, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Queegjapjat Sawdubfid, he will boil you in a big pot.

Queegjapjat Sawdubfid's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Queegjapjat Sawdubfid's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.