Mettenlagvigdamcapjop is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, staggering whale.

Mettenlagvigdamcapjop created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Mettenlagvigdamcapjop, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mettenlagvigdamcapjop, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Mettenlagvigdamcapjop's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Mettenlagvigdamcapjop's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Mettenlagvigdamcapjop must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.