Cissminbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, stupid eagle.

Cissminbeg created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cissminbeg, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cissminbeg, it will think nothing of it.

Cissminbeg's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Cissminbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.